Is it a Happy Mother’s Day?
The reality of Mother’s Day during COVID
7 easy Tips to ensure it is…
One of the few things that I am certain about in my life is that my mother is older than me…and yours is too.
I understand, what your thinking…Duh! But think about it for a second, during this scary time, THIS Mother’s day, your mom is at greater risk than ever before, just due to the fact that she’s older than you.
Almost every day I see another post from one of my friends that they have just lost a loved one to due to COVID and most often it has been their mother or father.
Mother’s Day in the past is usually not a risky holiday, we can say happy Mother’s Day without offending someone, even someone who has recently lost their mother.
Now, there have been so many more losses close to this holiday, and without the ability to hold the hand of those passing, it has created a ripple of pain.
I am still very sensitive to those that have lost a child, Mother’s Day can be a cruel holiday, our family knows that all too well. All you can do, is to send love on this day for those mothers that have lost a child.
SO…. will it be a HAPPY Mother’s Day?
YES, YES, YES & YES
I propose that no matter the circumstance, we take time to deeply connect with those still here, love on them, even if virtually and tell them what they mean to us before we can’t.
For those that have lost their mother, I am deeply sorry. Take this time to journal, scrapbook, tell stories of all that she was, so that generations to come will know who your mother was, what she liked, what she cared for and who she cared for. There is so much healing in the act of remembering and writing down stories, looking at photos and videos and documenting those you love.
As this has been a bit on the dark side, lets talk about how we can celebrate our moms on this holiday during COVID.
Get on a Video Chat with your Mother.
Tip 1. WARNING!!!!
You have to let your mom know when you are calling, she will not be happy if she doesn’t have her hair done and her makeup on and she magically appears on video! There could be heck to pay. She generally will need an hour notice 😊
Tip 2. Tech Challenge
Prior to mother’s day work through any tech challenges. Not everyone has an iPhone so you cant just say “lets facetime,” figure out if she has a computer, phone or tablet and make sure she knows how to use it. Practice patience and clear directions. Remember she watched you learn how to walk and do many other things without getting frustrated at you, rolling her eyes or belittling you. Treat her with the same kindness and respect. I would recommend either making a how to video for her or creating a word document with screenshots, clear steps and arrows to show her where all the buttons are and what to do with them. The less stress on the call the better the call will be.
Tip 3. Video Chat Apps
Skype, Zoom, facetime, Google Hangouts, WhatsApp etc. are excellent tools for video chatting.
Write your Mother a Letter
The pen is still (in my opinion) one of the greatest pieces of technology out there. Its easy to use, can’t get a virus, does not lose its power if left uncharged and its very mobile and compact.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your mother is to let her know how much you love her, to remember how she has loved you, reminisce the best times you have had with her and deeply pour out your heart.
Tip 4. Handwrite a Letter
A letter, can be reread for years to come, becomes a comfort daily when you can’t be with someone and fills the soul with love. A card is NOT the same…. for that matter neither is a typed letter, but both are better than nothing. The reason for a handwritten letter is that it is much more personal, she watched you learn how to read and write, she knows your handwriting, how you miss spell certain words. The visual of someone’s handwriting brings comfort and a level of trust that is just not possible to achieve with a computer.
Mother’s Day is typically a visit and a gift, meals are shared and then the families separate, spending time together but not connecting on a deeper level. I challenge myself and you to connect on a deeper level this Mother’s Day. We have a rare opportunity; we can focus more on the content and quality of our time together instead of the tradition of this holiday.
How much do you know about your mom before she became your mom? Really? If your mom has passed find those that knew her when she was young and ask the same questions.
Tip 5. Ask your mother to tell you about her life when she was young, before kids.
Quite often we have seen a wedding photo, and then all of our history of our mothers is intertwined with ourselves.
Ask your mother to tell you about her youth, before kids. What was she interested in, what were her passions, what type of clothes did she wear, what was her favorite: Movie, book, music and why? Who was her best friend? Who broke her heart? Remember to either video record her during this (best option) or write it all down for future generations.
Our mothers have spent their lives focusing on us and listening to us and encouraging our dreams. Rarely do we know what theirs are/were. Let’s change that, lean in, meet her where she is and listen. One of the greatest gifts you can give someone is to really listen and hear them.
When was the last time you played a game with your mother? Growing up we used to play Monopoly. I loved it partly because I like games, but mostly because we were all together as a family having fun for hours.
Tip 6. Play a Game
If you are in the same household as your mother (a multigenerational family)choose your favorite game and have a blast.
If you are separated, you can play games on phone or tablet apps:
- Scrabble Go
- Words With Friends
- Yahtzee with Buddies
- 8 Ball Pool
- Boggle With Friends
- Game of Life
- Heads Up
Give a Gift that she Actually Wants
Do you get your mom that same gift every year? A robe perhaps, lotion, perfume? These are great gifts when your 12 but as you have aged up have your gifts become more thoughtful? Its difficult I know to go against what is easy, tried and tested. But what if she really doesn’t want another robe and she just to classy to say so?
Tip 7. Be a Spy
Any good spy does a lot of research, interviews others without them knowing you are gathering intel and figures out what will be the best way to the heart of who they are trying to get to.
I challenge you to be the best spy you can be and find out what your mother really likes. It could be tickets to a show, I know your thinking Broadway and the movies are not even open right now… but what if you could create a similar going to the movies event, deliver popcorn and all the treats to her home, get her a Netflix account and let the entertainment begin.
Maybe she loves going out to a wonderful dinner with friends and having her favorite drink. There are many bartenders that will deliver cocktails to your door and restaurants for her favorite meal to be delivered as well. Then you can set up a video call with her friends so that she can have an “evening out.”
The point is, while we will always be her child, we are not children anymore. Our gifts need to grow up and be more creative, especially during these times. Have fun, write her a song, send her a letter, plan a night at the movies, video chat with her, play a game with her, dive deep into her history, listen and show her how much you love her and care about her.
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